HAS THE WHOLE SCHOOL GONE MAD?
by Aevum
Summary: OK, it had Draco Malfoy in nothing but boxers and a sock, duck chasing classes, refrences to flash movies, and Snape doing a solo. What more could you want? Welcome to the nightmares of the HP Cast!
1. Harry and The Ducks

Harry Potter had just scene the weirdest thing he was probably ever going to see. Draco Malfoy sat in front of him, wearing absolutely nothing but a pair of vibrant pink boxers holding in his hands, yes, Harry reassured himself, it wasn't just an optical illusion, a sock. But not just any sock, no of course not. A red sock, with the knitting needles still attached.  
  
Yes, Draco Malfoy, the Heir to the Malfoy dynasty was sitting in the middle of the Entrance Hall knitting a sock. Harry rubbed his eyes under his glasses and looked again, but nope, he was still there. He then pulled off his glasses and wiped them hurriedly on his robes. He placed them back on his nose and looked again. He shook his head in confusion. The blonde was still there and was currently completing a small 'G' on the top of the sock in gold.  
  
He still hadn't noticed Harry, or if he had he still hadn't looked up. Draco sighed as he finished the sock. He was out of yarn. Poo. He looked up at Harry, who was in the process of pinching himself to check if he was dreaming or not, as he pulled the sock onto one bare foot.  
  
"Oh, hullo Harry," he said happily, ginning at the stunned brunette. "Like my sock?"  
  
"I...What? Malfoy are you ok?" Harry asked. He was very confused. First he finds Draco sitting on the floor knitting what could only be called a Gryffindor sock, in PINK boxers no less. Then Malfoy goes and calls him by his first name, which was very disconcerting, never mind the fact that he was grinning at him like an idiot. All of this was making Harry quite nervous to say the least.  
  
"I'm good. Goood. God. Dog. Doggie. I like doggies. Do you?" Draco tilted his head to the side, waiting for a reply. The grin never left his face. Harry watched him with an ever growing morbid curiosity.  
  
"Malfoy are you _drunk_?" he asked incredibly. This was just too weird.  
  
"Hm? Drunk? Hm...hm..humm....hummmhummm," Draco giggled madly as he buzzed his lips, still sitting on the floor.  
  
"Malfoy!" Said personnel looked up, still giggling.  
  
"Drunk? Maybe...I don't know. Would beer...beer, what a silllllly muggle name...do that?" as he asked he attempted to stand, but failed miserably, landing on his butt once more. Harry groaned.  
  
"How much did you drink?" he asked shaking his head, watching Draco attempt to stand once more. He caught him as he stumbled, again, to the floor.  
  
"Hm. Los. Los an' los. It tasted funny, but it made everything fuzzy and funny." Harry graned again, holding up the heavy, drunk Slytherin. Suddenly Draco pulled himself out of Harry's hold and ran towards the door.  
  
"Malfoy!" he yelled, running after the half naked blonde. As he ran he wondered to himself. Why was he helping, or attempting to help, Malfoy? His ENEMY. He sighed. Sometimes it was a burden being the good guy.  
  
Draco was headed strait to the lake. Harry sped up. If Draco fell in...he watched in shock as Draco seemed to trip over something as he ran down the hill and began to roll. Harry continued to run down after the pink blob rolling in front of him.  
  
"WEEEEEE!" he heard the blob scream as it continued to roll. Both wizards came to a stop at the bottom of the hill. Harry collapsed beside the once again giggling Draco. He sat up as he heard a voice call to him.  
  
"Oi, Harrrrry!" He looked up and saw Ron not five feet away. Well, there was a blessing in disguise. He had been looking for him when he met up with Malfoy in the Entrance hall.  
  
"Hey Ron. I was looking for you."  
  
"Looking for me. Looking for de, looking for duck. Oh look DUCK!" Harry frowned. What...Draco sat up sharply.  
  
"Duck? Where?" The red head pointed to the middle of the lake, where the small creature floated. Harry's confusion only grew as both of the other people there stood up and began creaping towards the beach.  
  
Suddenly both let out loud bursts of noise, Harry guessed they were supposed to be war cry as ran beeline towards the duck.  
  
"What the...Ron?"  
  
"DUCK!"  
  
"My DUCK!" shouted Draco.  
  
"No, my duck," Ron said stopping waist deep in the water, turning towards his blonde counterpart.  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck." Harry stood on the beach and watched his best friend and enemy arguing over a feathered creature. The poor thing had no clue about what was happening. Harry's thoughts were broken as a brown haired person zoomed past him.  
  
"DUCK!!!!"  
  
"What the hell...HERMIONE?" Harry yelled in confusion as she ran out to the end of the dock and dived off, paddling desperately towards the mallard. "Has the WHOLE CASTLE GONE MAD?" he yelled. Draco and Ron looked up from there argument at the scream from the beach. The suddenly noticed the other figure heading out towards the duck in question.  
  
"She's going to steal our DUCK!" shrieked Draco, running after her.  
  
"My Duck!" Draco stopped to glare at Ron.  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck."  
  
"My duck." Harry groaned abandoning all sensible thought. It couldn't get any weirder.  
  
"OH NO," he whispered as he realized what he had just said. He spun in the direction of the castle as he heard music flouting towards him. He had truly jinxed himself he realized. For there was the entire school faculty, in what appeared to be a very long conga line. He blinked before sitting down hard in the sand.  
  
The conga line moved closer. It was led by none other then Albus Dumbledore. Suddenly the music changed and the whole group began bouncing to the poppy musical intro. Suddenly Snape stepped forward to the front of the bopping group. Harry watched in mute horror as the potions teacher opened his mouth.  
  
_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
  
Imagination, life is your creation  
  
_Harry sat paralyzed in the sand as his most hated professor sand out the lyrics in a high squeaky soprano.  
  
_Come on, Barbie, let's go party  
  
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
_  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
  
Imagination, life is your creation  
  
I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie  
  
Suddenly Mcgonigal cut in, shakin' her booty and singing loudly.  
  
_You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky  
_  
Snape took over once again belting out the song.  
  
_You can touch, you can play  
  
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa  
  
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
  
Imagination, life is your creation  
  
"_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh ," the entire faculty sang as Snape did a dance solo directly in front of Harry, before once again taking over the song.  
  
_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
  
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again  
  
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party  
  
You can touch, you can play  
  
You can say I'm always yours  
  
You can touch, you can play  
  
You can say I'm always yours  
  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
  
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
  
Imagination, life is your creation  
  
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
  
Imagination, life is your creation  
  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh..._ The song trailed off as the faculty danced away heading towards Hagrid's hut.  
  
Harry fell back into the san and lay there staring at the...he sighed nothing could faze him after that, purple sky. He turned his head slowly as a voice chirped beside his ear.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
"Hullo."  
  
"How do you like my story?" Harry continued to look at her blankly.  
  
"Your story?"  
  
"Sure, I wrote it. I'm Aevum, the author," she said cheerfully. "It's pretty good if I do say so myself. I'm sure I'll get lots of reviews for it!" She turned towards the reader, yes that's you, and winked.  
  
"Wait," Harry said, blinking, "You mean to say that YOU made all of this happen?"  
  
"Yup. Hm. Draco really is cute, yum," she said turning towards the lake with a sly smile.  
  
"YOU, you wrote this? You made this happen?"  
  
"Yeah, I though we went through this alr...Harry?" she let out a squeak as Harry's eyes suddenly contained a murderous glint. "Harry?" She rose, another squeak escaping, and she ran away from Harry who was now hell-bent on hurting the creature who had put him though all this.  
  
"Ok, I'm SORRY! I'll change it back!" She continued running as she pulled out a pad of paper. She quickly scribbled, And all of a sudden, everything was normal.  
  
And all of a sudden everything was normal. The teachers were back inside there classrooms, Draco and Ron were beating each other up on the front lawn. Hermione sat just a few feet away with he nose in a book about astrophysics, and Harry stopped running and glared at the sky.  
  
"If you EVER do that again, I swear you'll regret it." Aevum sat behind her computer screen and sighed in relief.  
  
"OK, I'll be good...until the next story..." BWAHAHAHA

* * *

_Ok guys. Pretty bad huh? Oh well, teaches me for drinking coke while reading HP fanfics. Well I hope you can forgive me, and the best way to do that is REVIEW!! Yeah! Review! Tell me if you want a sequel. Til next time,  
  
Aevum_


	2. Ron and the Shrimp

Ron stared as he watched Hermione drag a large grey box into the common room.  
  
"Umm....'Mione? What is that?" he asked as she started sticking a long string that came out of the back into some holes in the wall. He had never figured out what those were for.  
  
"It's a computer Ron. Really, I thought that you took muggle studies," she snapped as she stood and walked out again. Ron walked over to the box and tapped it lightly.  
  
"What does it do," he muttered out loud. He looked up as Hermione struggled into the room with yet another box. This one was slightly more squarish then the tower like one in front of him. "Another one? Why do you need two?"  
  
"It's two different parts silly." She grabbed a cord out of the back of the other one and stuck it into a hole on the back. She pushed a button and stood, brushing off her robes. "Ok, it's all yours. You need to use this to save Harry. You better get working." She walked calmly out of the room as Ron stared at her back.  
  
"WHAT?!" he shouted. No one answered.  
  
Typical," he muttered. He watched as the black part of the second box began changing colors. He sat cross legged in front of it and watched it. It seemed to stop on a blue screen with a bunch of little pictures on one side. Suddenly a picture of Dumbledore walked onto the space. He looked around as if searching for something before shrugging and in a high squeaky voice shouted.  
  
"Naked Time!" Ron screamed in horror and ran out of the common room. There he ran straight into Harry.  
  
"Wait I thought I had to save you with the box but I had Dumbledore and you're here and..."  
  
"Get off me Weasley. What the hell are you wasting my time about," Harry sneered. Yes dear reader, your wonderful precious Boy-that-lived SNEERED! Ron stared at his best friends face in horror. Suddenly he realized something.  
  
He gasped in repulsion. Harry's hair was platinum blonde.  
  
"Harry?" his voice shook as he stared at the world's savior.  
  
"Get away from me muggle lover, or Draco's father will hear about it," Harry spat out.  
  
"But Harry, you hate Mr. Malfoy. Since when do you talk to him?" his eyes opened in horror. He had a feeling he REALLY didn't want to know.  
  
"Where have you been Weasel? Since me and Draco got married two years ago." Ron valiantly fought the urge to through up but failed... Suddenly a little girl ran up to Harry.  
  
"Mommy! Mommy!" she squealed. She stopped sharply at the green puddle. "Ewwww...UP!" Harry picked up the small girl. "MOMMY!" Ron's gag reflex once again came into play.  
  
Harry walked away, not sparing a glance for Ron. Ron stood and walked into the washroom. He felt ICKY. He walked inside, but ran away screaming as soon as he opened the door.  
  
Inside Severus Snape looked up. Both him and Minerva shrugged and went back to their previous activity...  
  
Ron ran straight out the Entrance hall towards the lake. He looked out at it and suddenly had a strange urge to swim out and grab that "DUCK!" Draco Malfoy...or is that Potter now?...ran past him and splashed not so gracefully into the lake.  
  
Ron stared in shock. Was he in pink boxer shorts...Oh god...and was that...a sock? A Red and Gold sock to be precise was positioned on top of his head. Ron shook his head.  
  
"What is going on here?" he asked himself. All of a sudden Albus Dumbledore stood beside him. Ron turned to him quickly. "Professor I'm so glad you're here! The WHOLE SCHOOL HAS GONE MAD!" Dumbledore completely ignored the girly red head. He looked around as if searching for something before shrugging and in a high squeaky voice shouted.  
  
"Naked Time!" Ron fainted.  
  
Ron lay on his back refusing to open his eyes.  
  
"It was all just a dream. Just a bad, bad dream," he slowly pealed open one eye. He saw a face in front of him. It was Ginny.  
  
"Ron, guess what?" she said, bouncing in excitement. Ron was suddenly reminded of a dancing conga line and Snape singing...he shook his head to clear it and replied.  
  
"What?" He sat up and watched as his sister bounced around in circles.  
  
"I'm getting married!" Completely the overprotective big brother (or is that sister?) Ron jumped to his feet and demanded.  
  
"TO WHO?"  
  
"George and Fred!" she said, grabbing her brother around the waist. "You see, they are in love, but legally they can't get married. So if they marry me, then they can pretend that they are married, and they'll be happy. And the said that sometimes I can join in when they..." Ron screamed like the girly man he is and ran far, far away.  
  
He ran once again into Harry Potter...or is that Malfoy?...he shrugged. Harry was now wearing a flamboyant pink suit and was standing on the edge of the dock.  
  
"Oh Darling. Put some clothes on. I don't want anyone else to see that manly (much more than Ron's) chest of yours! Do you hear me?!" Suddenly Ron was surrounded by mountains of shrimp.  
  
"Wow," he said. "That was out of no where." Suddenly Goyle appeared in front of him.  
  
"Ronald Hunny, where have you been?" He swept Ron up into a crushing hug, literally. Ron could feel the bones breaking...  
  
"MHPH Grofofmeeee!" he girlishly screamed. Goyle pulled him away.  
  
"What did you say, Muffin?" Ron gagged as he repeated.  
  
"I said get off of me. But you have. And...is that an apron?...and A ROLLING PIN?" he screeched. What was going on?  
  
"You should know, buggums, you bought them for me. I was just making supper when I came to find you," he turned and began burrowing into the shrimp. "Oh and by the way, I hope you don't mind that I invited a guest for dinner? Voldie was ever so lonely up at that sea side haunted hotel of his."  
  
Ron just stared. This was too weird. His tiny brain was overloaded. Harry was married to Draco, and had seemingly turned into Draco, and they had a child. Draco was...well he wouldn't go there. He has scene Dumbledore's Naked Time twice, and Ginny was getting married to the twins. And Goyle...he shuddered violently.  
  
He fell back into the fluffy shrimp and lay there staring at the...he sighed nothing could faze him after that, green sky. He turned his head slowly as a voice chirped beside his ear.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
"Hullo."  
  
"So...having fun?" she asked cheerfully, throwing up a shrimp and catching it in her mouth. He just continued to stare blankly at her. She had no idea of the utter chaos everything was in. She frowned suddenly.  
  
"Hmm, these taste like cardboard," she took out a notebook and quickly wrote, Then the shrimp they lay in were suddenly the best they had ever tasted. Then the shrimp they lay in were suddenly the best they had ever tasted. Ron sat up.  
  
"How did you do that?"  
  
"I'm the author. I can do anything I want. I created this world (A/N Not really that was J.K Rowling. Sorry just covering my butt)."  
  
"You...you WHAT?" She continued to pop shrimp into her mouth apparently not noticing the murderous glint in Ron's eyes.  
  
"I created it. I'm Aevum, by the way. Nice ta meet cha." Suddenly at the mention of her name, Harry burst through an entire layer of shrimp.  
  
"YOU!" he bellowed. "YOU!"  
  
"Oh, hullo Harry. Having fun?" she wheedled nervously. "Oh by the way, you and Draco are such a lovely couple and that girl..." she screamed loudly as the two Gryffindors dove at her.  
  
"You made me married to MALFOY! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MALFOY! WE..." Harry trailed off looking at Ron. "NEVER MIND, BUT YOU ARE SOOOOOOO DEAD!"  
  
Now there were two murderously glinting pairs of eyes. She ran.  
  
"OK. Geez you don't have to be so huffy about it!" She scribbled something on her trusty paper and disappeared.  
  
Suddenly the computer was gone, Dumbledore was dressed, Harry and Draco's marriage was annulled somehow considering they had been married two years, the little girl was returned to her real mother, who actually was a woman, Draco was back in Slytherin, Ginny was no longer engaged to the twins, but about them being in love... "AEVUM!" Ok, ok, Fred and George were just brothers; Goyle lost his apron and roll...rolli...What? I can't type it...He really does have a rolling pin and apron?  
  
Goyle blushed.  
  
Ok....and all the shrimp disappeared.  
  
Harry and Ron both stared at the sky for a moment before looking at each other.  
  
"So she got you to?"  
  
"Uhuh..."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"DUCKY!" Draco ran across the field in the pink boxers in hot pursuit of the mallard.  
  
"AEVUM!"  
  
"Oh, and Harry luv?" Aevum's voice echoed from the clouds. "I never said that you were in love with Draco. You made that up all by yourself." Harry stared into the distant, his mind refusing to compute.  
  
"Umm...Harry? Your hair?"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Ok, that's all folks. I hope you liked the newest addition of HAS THE WHOLE SCHOOL GONE MAD? I hope you liked it. Read and review if you want another chapter. Mmmm...Draco in boxers...mmm....Oh and The Dumbledore's Naked Time doesn't really belong to me. Wanna see what I mean? Go to Flash Player . com and look for Harry Potter Puppet Pals one and two.:P 


	3. Hermione and the lack of Class

Hermione sat in her desk in charms and frowned. Where was everyone? Class had started almost ten minutes ago and even the teacher wasn't there yet. She pulled out her class schedule…maybe she had gone to the wrong class.

She ran her finger along her color coded class list and her frown deepened. No, this was right. Charms – third period. Odd. Come to think of it she hadn't seen any other students yet today. She had figured it was because she had come twenty minutes early to catch up on some reading, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe something had happened to them.

She quickly packed up her books and slipped out of the classroom. She ran down the hallway towards the great hall. Maybe there was a memo she missed and they were having an assembly. She scanned her brain for any talk of classes being cancelled, but she couldn't remember anything.

She stuck her head into the great hall. She blinked in confusion. Where was everyone. The great hall was NEVER empty like this. There was always someone working, or eating, or something.

Suddenly she heard footsteps rushing down the hall. She spun around and saw a flash of black clothe disappear around the corner.

"Wait!" she called out. "Where is everyone?" The footsteps just continued.

Click-click, click-click, click-click

She ran down the hallway after them. She spun around a corner and slammed into a wall.

"What the…?" She stared at the bricks in front of her. There had never been a wall here before.

"Uh, excuse me? Mr. Wall? Would you mind moving so I can get through?" she asked politely, shaking her head. She was talking to a wall. Suddenly the wall disappeared and she saw Ron sitting on the floor, staring at a…computer?

"Ron, what are you doing?" she asked, confused. She hadn't even thought he knew what a computer was.

"Saving Harry," he answered simply. "Here. Your turn." He got up smiled at her and walked away. Wait. His teeth were green.

"What? Ron…" he was gone already. She shrugged. Ok then.

She sat down in front of the screen and gasped. There was a mini Harry running away from a dragon, screaming.

She frowned, it must be a stupid computer game. She clicked the escape button.

She was bowled over suddenly by Harry flying out of the computer.

"Oh, thanks Hermione. I got to go now. Bye." He walked away.

"What…HARRY!" He disappeared. He had been wearing a…she shook her head, a dress. "I must be hallucinating."

She looked at her watch. Her next class was astronomy, and since she didn't feel bad, she figured she might as well go. She walked up to the foot of the staircase and listened as she hear a faint noise slowly getting louder.

"WEEEEEEE!" She jumped quickly out of the way as….

"Malfoy!?" She screeched, her eyes widening.

"Hullo Granmoine," he giggled. "Get it? Its Granger, and Hermione. Granmoine!" He burst into a fit of laughing as she stared at him.

"What in the devils name are you wearing!?" she asked. Or not wearing she thought to herself. The Slytherin King himself was sitting right in front of her in vibrant pink boxers and a sock. One sock. It looked…home made.

"Why are you wearing one sock?" she asked, and then blinked at the question. He was, or rather wasn't wearing, THAT and she was asking why he was wearing one sock. She was going mad.

"Oh that. I ran out of wool," he answered casually, shrugging.

Suddenly he grabbed her wrist.

"Shoot! Look at the time! We're late!" He screamed.

"Late? Late for what?" Hermione gasped as he began to drag her down the hallway.

"For class Silly goose."

"Silly WHAT? And I have astronomy!" He stopped and glared at her.

"What are you swearing for? I haven't done anything to you!" he pouted.

"How was I swearing? And you've done tons of things to me. You called me a mud blood. You punched me. You call my friends names. You stole Harry from me…" 'Wait she thought. 'He stole Harry? No he didn't. What…'

"I have never," he said with as much annoyance as he could, being half naked. "I would never do that to you. You're my best friend! And me and Harry were over years ago. I thought you were over that. Though I can't remember what happened with that…or what happened while that…huh. I can't really remember anything except…Duck."

"What!?" He grabbed he wrist again.

"Come on, we have to go." He dragged her quickly out of the school towards the lake. There they stopped in the middle of a large group of students of all ages. Dumbledore stood before them.

"Now," he was saying. "Can anyone tell me the proper way to start a duck chase?" he asked calmly, looking around. The students muttered among themselves before Draco raised his hand.

"Mr. Malfoy?"

"You must start a duck chase, by deciding whose duck it is. If too many people chase it, it will get scared and turn into a butterfly…and who wants to chase a butterfly?" There was a general murmur of agreement. Hermione stared around in confusion. What the…

"Alright then. You must decide whose duck it is. Begin," Dumbledore commanded. Hermione shrank back outside of the group as everyone began shouting.

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"MY DUCK!" came a final voice. All of a sudden a red head plunged out into the icy waters after what Hermione was sure was a mallard.

Suddenly she found herself screaming and running after him. She ran past Harry, who stared at her like she was mad. She thought she probably was, but at the moment it really didn't matter. She ran past Draco and Ron who were one again arguing about whose duck it was.

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!"

"My duck!" She ran right down the dock and off the end yelling loudly.

"DUCK!" She stopped suddenly, finding herself paddling on the floor of what seemed to be a full classroom. She stood up blushing, and then began to stare at the classroom.

Everyone was wearing a sock on their head.

And Draco Malfoy was sitting in front of them all, still in his peculiar state of undress, holding, yes, it's true, knitting needles.

Suddenly she was washed over with a overwhelming feeling of deja vew. She shook it off, and continued to stare at the Slytherin as he began to explain the finer details in sock knitting.

"First, it's easier if you aren't wearing socks yourself, because if they see that you are making another pair, they get jealous, and we all know what jealous socks can do!" She watched in fascinated horror as everyone began to remove their socks and though them out the window.

"I'm going mad," she said loudly. "Bloomin' mad."

"Shhh!" Came a voice from beside her. "I'm trying to listen." She looked at Harry in amazement.

"Harry? What are you doing?" He looked at her oddly.

"Learning to knit a sock obviously. Where are your needles?" Her mouth worked, but no sound came out. The bell rang.

"Oh, come on Hermione, it's time for twisteroligy," Harry said calmly, smiling at her.

"Time for…what?"

"Twisterology, Hermione. You know the class where you learn about twister…" he was looking at her like she was stupid.

"Like, the game…Twister?" she asked numbly.

"Uh, yes. 'Moine, are you feeling alright?" he asked, placing his hand on her forehead.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she replied absently. "But what about Arithmacy?" she asked with a frown. Harry stared at her in Horror.

"Why are you swearing? You could be sent to Azkaban. You know as well as me that all …"his voice dropped to a whisper. "…academic classes were outlawed two years ago.

"WHAT!?" She fell into a dead faint. Her eye fluttered open eventually and she lay there staring at the…she sighed, nothing could faze her after that, yellow sky. She turned her head slowly as a voice chirped beside her ear.

"Hi!"

"Hullo." She replied. Her life was over. No more classes? No more homework or marks or magic. No more….anything.

"So, you like your new classes?" came the mischievous voice from beside her. She turned to look at the small girl.

"What?"

"The new classes. I thought of Twisterology all by myself. That's one good bit of writing that is." She smiled brightly at her.

"What?"

"In this story, the twister…oh never mind. I'm Aevum, by the way. Well, do you think it's good… I…" Suddenly the girl eyes widened. "Uh Oh…" Hermione looked up and saw Harry and Ron, glaring at the small girl.

"Oh, hullo you too. Having fun?" she gave a weak grin up at them both.

"You little…"

"Weasley, no offence Ron…"

"Evil, none taken…"

"Sadistic…"

"Hey, no need to get nasty," the girl frowned up at them.

"You are so dead!" They shouted together, lunging for her.

"Stop or I'll make you both in love with Snape!" she shouted, brandishing a notebook. They stopped dead, backing up. Then they turned to Hermione.

"'Mione, she's the one that did this. She writes things on that paper, and the world goes all screwy. She made me married to Goyle!" Ron shouted, looking at her.

"And she made me fall in love with MALFOY," added Harry. The girl raised an eyebrow at Harry.

"No, no dear. I never did that. I made you marry him. You came up with the love this all on your own thanks." Harry just glared at her.

"You? You did this?" Hermione whispered.

"yes…" she replied, shreaking as Hermione stole her pencil.

"Why you little WORM!" Aevum set off at a run, with the three in hot pursuit.

"Thank goodness I always have a spare," she muttered to herself before shouting back to the three. "OK, OK, I'll change it back."

She once again scribbled something on her pad of paper and everything was back to normal. Draco was, sadly, dress, the teachers were teaching again, the mallard was safely back in Canada, and all the classes were back on schedule.

"We'll get her, we will," muttered Harry.

"In love with MALFOY Harry?" Hermione asked, turning towards him.

"I AM NOT!"

Laughter drifted down from the sky. "I think the lady doth protest to much," came a whisper on the wind.

"AEVUM!"

* * *

_And there is one more part of HTWSGM! YES! Sorry it took so long. I've just been really busy. Thanks for you pacience. Now, if you want another one by the end of christmas break, you had better reveiw!!_

_Aevum_


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